So, I was just reading my previous posts on this blog. I wanna go back to me. The me that was present in those posts...I know she's still here. I feel her. I feel it, rather. But not with as much force as I used to. That tranquil feeling...Lightheartedness. And such.
I feel fine heh *sad smile*...Alhamdulillah...I just wanna go back and see what I did differently then. Relive it. I can't explain it. I remember loving it. And why not.
You know what I think it is? I think I've 'settled' with my present state of imaan. No longer reaching for perfection - not working hard enough. You see, I'm what you would call a perfectionist. Yeah, yeah, no one can be perfect. But we can try to be what we think is perfect, yeah? nahmean? 'Reach for the moon, fall among the stars.' [Side note: The sky is gorgeous tonight Subhan'Allah. The moon is faint. Sigh :).]
I have my priorities in complete disarray. Ugh. How the heck did I let this happen....AGAIN.
This all sounds familiar...Why are some of my posts sounding the same? UGH. Same crap, different day, heh. That just ain't right!! Am I not learning anything from my past? That's what it sounds like.
Thank God for life. Life gives me hope. Hope for a better me. A better me for the sake of Allah (swt).
Ya Allah! Allow us to die among the mo'mineen (believers) in a high state of iman pleasing to You, save us from the torment of the grave, and make easy for us the reckoning on the Day of Judgment, and grant us a place in Jannat ul Firdaws.....
Ameen...aiight...I should get to sleep, so I won't be too sleepy during suhur. Suhur makes me happy. Ramadan makes me happy in itself. ah Alhamdulillah.
Wa Salam :).
4 comments:
its because you slipped on a banana skin :p
ameen @ duas! :)
it's not hard to go back. you just have to find the problem.:)
brohood - and hit my head, right? multiple times? that's a pretty good reason for why I turned out like this :P.
big saf - you're right :)...as of now, I'm stumped to what the problem could be hmm...
watch for updates dun dun dunnn..
heh, that'll keep you coming back fo' mo' :P.
Ameen. It's a fluctuation in imaan, know that feeling all too well. Insh'Allah you can go back.
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