Shtuff on my mind....

Assalamua Alaikom :),

Today was slightly weird, because all I did was sleep (not really, but it seemed like it). I've been sleeping way too much, lately. There's beauty sleep, then there's zombie sleep. I've been experiencing the latter haha...But I look at it this way, at least by sleeping I'm not committing my usual sins! But when I wake up people aren't necessarily happy to see me, knowing that I've had a good amount of sleep and they haven't. Oops, teehee!...And there's also the fact that I'm missing out on life. You know, if, say, we live up to 60 years old, and sleep 8 hours each night, we would have wasted 2/3's of our life, sleeping! Mmhmm. I did the math. It's true. Not 50 %, but 66.67%! So yeah, Insha'Allah, I'ma try 'n' sleep less...Maybe instead I can work out? Pahaha...No, really, I might, though, since, I do need more energy! (Whoa, so many commas. I need a grammar lesson on commas.)

Anyway, when I was sleeping, I had a dream, 'twas very long and weird, but towards the end it got profound. My sister-in-law was in it and she said to me, and I won't forget:

"Aww, sweetie, why are you crying? You aren't lost. No! You aren't lost. He didn't lose sight of you. But you lost sight of Him."

Then, in urdu, she said:

"Quick as you can, run back to Him, He will forgive you, He is Al- Ghafur. Read the Qur'an, you'll see what I mean. And you'll feel better, immensely. You won't feel lost. You'll be of those who journey unto Allah (swt) and they, they are never lost!"

Funny thing is, I don't even know urdu, but in my head I knew that's what she said. And everyone around me (we were in Baltimore, MD, for some odd reason lol) was emotional and tearin' up...but I was just standing there, like a statue hmm....That's not like me. I'm worried :-/.

Reminds me of a quote I read:

"If Al - Khadir said to Musa, for disobeying him three successive times: 'This is parting between me and you.' I wonder how can one of us disobey Allah many times a day and still trust that He won't say to him: 'This is parting between Me and you?' " - Imam Shafi'ee

So, I'm thinking here. It must be my excessive sleeping and my sinning that's making my heart restless. I have diagnosed myself, but now for the remedy...I know just where to go for that, Alhamdulillah. The remedy is in salah and the Holy Qur'an. Subhan'Allah.

You know, reality hits the hardest when you're immersed in this world. And I wouldn't have thought I was immersed in this dunya (not that I'm so pious where I've denounced the world, just didn't feel like I was completely "lost"...that was probably part of the illusion!) . But I guess it creeps up on you, unexpectedly. And at the end of every day you gotta re-evaluate and re-prioritize and count your blessings, so as not to seem ungrateful.

Alhamdulillah, I'm still alive. And for having some sense in me, that only comes from the Will of Allah. :).

Anyway, at the moment, I'm reading the cover story of March/April's Al - Jumuah Magazine: Divine Love. The Heart of Islam, the Principle of Creation.

I'll see if I can summarize/or just post parts I find good in my next blog entry, Insha'Allah. Ya'll should definitely read it, if you subscribe to the magazine, that is. Oh yeah, if you haven't already subscribed to it, then do so! I love this magazine :D.

One last thing, on the request of N, more stories :).

Bedouin Girl and the Love of Allah

A pious man relates that in one of my journeys I once saw a young Bedouin girl. "Where do you stay?" I enquired "The jungle", she replied. "Do you not feel lonely?" I asked curiously. She answered, "Oh Shaykh, one who befriends Allah and keeps His company can never be lonely". I asked, "Where do you eat?" She replied, "Allah knows best from where He provides for His creation. He gives it to those who believe in Him". Then she went on to say, "The hearts that are alive with the recognition of Allah's oneness and have relented to His love, their food is the love of Allah and His Company".

Story of an Idolater
Abdul Wahid b. Zaid (mercy be upon him) who belonged to a lineage of saints said, "We were once sailing in a boat. A gush of wind blew away our boat to an island where we saw a man busy adoring an idol. We asked him what he was worshipping. He pointed towards the idol. We said to him that this idol was made with his own hands. How could he worship it? The God whom we worship creates all such things Himself, and so deserves to be worshipped, alone." He then asked us, whom do you worship? We told him, "We worship the Great God (Allah) who lives in the highest heaven. He alone controls the heavens and the earth. All other creatures whether human or animal depend on Him for their sustenance." He further asked how we came to know about this Glorious God. We replied, "He sent His final Messenger (Peace be Upon him) to the whole of mankind to teach them about His Greatness." He proceeded to enquire "Let me know of the place where this Prophet of God is?" We replied, "After the Prophet had completed his mission by conveying the message of God he died and returned to his Lord". He continued to ask, "Did this Messenger of God leave behind a thing for your guidance?" We explained, "Yes, he left behind a Book (the Qur'an), which was revealed by God. He asked to see the book. We offered him the Holy Qur'an. He told us he was unable to read and so we recited a few verses for him instead. During the course of its recital he repeatedly wept until we stopped. He finally asserted, "This can only be from Allah, the Most High", and immediately confirmed his Faith in Allah and His Messenger. We informed him about the duties of Islam and also explained some verses of the Holy Qur'an. After the late night prayer we went to bed and the man continued to ask questions. "Does Allah sleep at night? he wondered aloud as we lay comfortably in our beds. "Our Exalted God is Ever living and Everlasting. He does not sleep or rest!" we exclaimed. On hearing this he cried, "What disobedient slaves you are! Your Lord keeps awake, whereas you sleep!" We were dumbstruck by his remark. When we were about to return from this island, he begged us to take him with us to allow him to learn more. We agreed. On reaching the city of 'Aabadan, says Abdul Wahid, I said to my companions, "This man is our brother, therefore we should provide him with some livelihood". Some dirhams were offered to him but he refused to accept them and exclaimed, "What is this?" We replied, "These are some dirhams for your expenditure." He said, "It is enough that you have shown me the right path. I was upon error and Allah guided me. I did not even worship him yet He neither destroyed nor killed me. I am so grateful to Him and you After a few days, we were told that he was about to breathe his last. We went to see him and asked him if there was any need of his to be satisfied. He said no and that he was happy with all that he had gained from Allah. Abdul Wahid said, " I was all of a sudden, overcome by sleep and hence slept there. While sleeping, I saw a very fertile garden wherein was a very fine vault; a throne occupied by a very beautiful girl, a beauty that I had never seen before. She said to me , 'By Allah, I returned him to His Lord quickly', By seeing her in such a state I became very anxious. He added, ''When I woke up , the man had passed away. We managed to bury him immediately.'' Again at night, said Abdul Wahid; ''I witnessed the same garden, the same vault and the same girl sitting besides the man who had died. She was reciting the following Qur'anic verse, the translation of which is ''And the Angels visit them from each door and send them their compliments, glad tidings for peace and safety against each kind of misfortune. All this is the fruit of your contentment (and steadfastness for the religion of Islam). There is therefore a good reward for you in the Hereafter.'' This story of the idolater shows the Greatness of Allah and His Mercy towards the man who previously worshipped idols. He sent the people to the island as a means to guide the idolater and thus rewarded him a magnificent rewarding the hereafter. ''O Master of the world ! Whom Thou giveth to, nobody can withhold and whom Thou giveth not, no one can confer upon him.''

It's cheesecake and brownie time :P.

Wa Salam :).

Keep dreamin'....

Assalamua Alaikom :),

I had a nice dream, today, Alhamdulillah. And that was the best 1 1/2 hours of sleep I've ever had! I didn't know getting enough rest was possible in 1 1/2 hours! Whoooa. Even my naps are 2 hours long! And after those, I'm not so refreshed like I was this morning. Wowee. Alhamdulillah. After Fajr and reciting some Qur'an - the sun was peek-a-booing from behind the houses, I went outside, dayaaam the weather and scenario was beautiful, Subhan'Allah! I guess I'm an out-doorsy type of person.

Something I came across (my dream was nothing like these - I wish it was!):

Dreams
Rabi bin Sulaiman relates that I saw Imam Ash-Shafi' in my dreams after his death and Iasked ''Oh Abu Abdullah how Allah deal with you . ''He replied ''He sat me down on a chair and showered me with diamonds.'' A Pious Saint relates that I saw Shaykh Abu Is-haak Ibraheem bin Ali bin Yusuf Al-Sherazi in a dream after his death, ccrowned and clothed in beautiful white garment. I asked, ''Where is this whitenessappearing from?'' He replied, ''Honour of Obedience.'' Again I asked ''And the crown?'' He replied ''Honour of knowledge.''

Oh, and some random story I like:

Yaqeen
Shaykh Fath al - Mowsily relates, once I saw a young boy walking through the jungle. It appeared as if he was uttering some words. I greeted him with Salaam and he replied accordingly. I inquired, "Where are you going ? ''He retorted, "To the house of Allah"' I further asked, ''What are you reciting?'' ''The Qur'an'' he replied. I remarked, ''You are at a tender age, it is not an obligation that you are required to fulfil.'' He said , ''I have witnessed death approach people younger than meand therfore would like to prepare if death was to knock on my door.'' I astoundingly commented, ''Your steps are small and your destenation far.'' He responded, ''My duty is to take the step and it remains the resposibility of Allah to take me to my destenation.'' I continued to ask, ''Where is you provision and conveyance (means of transport).'' He replied ''My Yakeen is my provision and my feet are my conveyance. ''I explained, ''I am asking you regarding braed and water. ''He replied ''Oh Shaykh if someone invited you to their house, would it be appropriate to take your own food?'' I exclaimed, ''No!'' ''Similarly, My Lord has invited His servant to His house, it is only the weakness of your Yakeen (certainty) that maked us carry provisions. I despite this. Do you think Allah will let me go to waste? ''Never.'' I replied. He then left. Sometime later I saw him in Makkah. He approached me and inquired, ''Oh Shaykh are you still of weak belief?''

We're all going to the park now!! Woohoo! See ya suckaaas! (joke! :P).

Salaam.

Intentions

Assalamua Alaikom :D,

Hello, everyone (lol like people actually read this ;P), hope you’re all well, Insha’Allah! I'm just gonna jump into the topic of intentions, alright? Alright :).

Umar ibn al-Khattab who said: I heard the Messenger of God say:

“All actions are judged by motives, and each person will be rewarded according to their intention. Thus, he whose migration was to God and His Messenger, his migration is to God and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)

Subhan’Allah. It’s a big deal. “All actions are judged by motives, and each person will be rewarded according to their intention”!!! Allah (swt) knows our deepest thoughts and secrets, so He knows our intentions. It’s what He looks at first and foremost. If you intend to do a good deed for the sake of showing off to others, Allah (swt) knows this, you can fool all the others with your “sincerity”, but you can’t fool Him. It’s silly and stupid to think you can.

There are the deeds we do that are not in total relation Allah (swt) (a lotta things are, though – that’s what’s interesting about a Muslim’s lifeJ), but we do ‘em because that’s life. Like, sleeping, eating, etc…. What I love about the concept of intention -or in this case I’ll be talking about the Greater Intention- is that everyday activities can be turned into acts of worship all because you purified your intention and were sincere! Like, say, you’re cleaning the bathroom, and you think, “oh gosh, why am I doing this again?! It wasn’t even THAT dirty to begin with!” Hah…well, the Greater Intention would be: “I will do this, because my mom wants me to, and Allah (swt) says to obey my mother”. OR a direct approach would be: “I’ll do this because Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) loves purity; purity is a half of faith, after all!” I dunno, it makes things a lot easier for me, at least…Or like I think a lot about how marriage and kids can be a hindrance to your spiritual life. And your job can be a hindrance, too. But if you go into it all with the right mindset, intentions, etc., it’s all gooood. Alhamdulillah. Besides, marriage and kids are a blessing from Allah (swt), one we cannot deny!

Our main aim should be to please Allah (swt), not other people. Allah (swt) is our Creator; He has more of a right over us than anyone else in the world. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) doesn’t need us, but we are in need of Him, so if we don’t have the sincere intention of doing it for God’s sake, we’re only depriving ourselves from His Mercy, Love, and Acceptance. Without it were just drones in the world! Life is only good and meaningful when God is in the center of it. When we’re conscious of God, He’s conscious of us, and I’m comfortable knowing that my Lord, The Guiding Friend, is watching over me!! Nah mean?! Alhamdulillah. Subhan’Allah.

The Companions saw a man and were astonished by his hard work and industry. They lamented: “If he were only doing this much work for the sake of God…”

God’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihe wa sallam) replied:

“If he is working to support his small children, then it is for the sake of God. If he is working to support his elderly parents, then it is for the sake of God. If he is working to occupy himself and keep his desires in check, then it is for the sake of God. If, on the other hand, he is doing so to show off and earn fame, then he is working for the sake of Satan.” (al-Mundhiri, as-Suyuti)

“A person learned [religious] knowledge and taught it [to others], as well as reciting the Quran. He will be brought [to the presence of God], and God will mention to him all the favors he granted him, and he recognized them. God will ask him, ‘What did you do with them?’

He will answer, ‘I learned [religious] knowledge and taught it [to others], and I recited the Quran purely for Your sake.’

God will say, ‘You have lied! Rather you learned [religious] knowledge to be called a scholar, and you recited the Quran to be called a recitor, and it was said of you!’ Then it was commanded [to punish] him. So he was dragged on his face and he was thrown into the Fire.” (an-Nasa’i)

I think your intentions are the hardest thing to control. Because first you have to have a control over your “lower self” and the whispers from Shaytaan. And you need a whole lotta taqwa! That’s a struggle, duuude! Shaytaan is always looking for me in my vulnerable state and tryna convince me that my intentions aren’t pure and sincere. I need to build a strong barrier between him and I!

Then there are the sins we commit…how do we purify our intentions for those? Haha :|…..”I’m going to sin so I can repent to Allah (swt) afterwards, because Allah (swt) loves those who repent”??? I’m not making a mockery out of anything, Na’udhu billah…I’m just tryna make sense out of why we sin so much! What’s our intention?! (thought of another one: “Lemme do this sin one last time – to get it outta my system- then I’ll never do it again!”) Of course, that’s not what it is. We’re human, the lowest of the low because of our base desires and whims and we fall for temptations all the time and are blinded by passion. That’s what makes us jahil. We’re not ignorant, because we know right from wrong, but we’re jahil (ignorant) in the sense that we don’t put our knowledge to action. (The Arabic word “jahl” has two connotations; 1. Lack of beneficial knowledge, and 2. Lack of action in accordance with that knowledge. Both are equally jahl linguistically and as well by Shari’ah)…And in return, we DISOBEY Allah (swt)! That may not be our intention, but it is what we’re doing!

So, what I’m tryna to say is that the strongest, wisest person fulfills all his obligations to the best of his ability and never loses the sight of his Lord, and the Hereafter, and fulfills all his obligations to the best of his ability, where he will be eternally…Let’s aim for Jannah, people! Insha’Allah…:D.

And oh yeah, hold onto Allah's Word, The Qur'an.Reminder for myself first, others second.

Yeah, so this was just on my mind (very incoherent, I know haha) and I don’t mean to speak on everyone’s behalf when I say “we” or “our” it’s just how my fingers typed it out heh…

K, good day, salaam :).

My First Blog Entry! Exciting, eh!

Assalamua Alaikom,

So...I decided to venture out into the blogworld on my own. (I'm apart of a joint blog: Muslimah Crew [ch ch check it out funkshow brotha]). I like it so far; I only wish I knew what the heck html was haha! Ah well, I'll figure it out on my own, Insha'Allah.

Anyhoo, you may be wondering what it means to "die before you Die". I have yet to find out for myself for sure what it entails. When I first read it, I automatically thought, "die physically before you Die spiritually." That made sense to me. But then one of my buddies reassured me that it actually had more of a ascetic approach. This is what I found online about the hadith (yeah, it's a hadith, but I can't seem to find it within contexts or with references, etc.):

"From the lips of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihe wa salam) came the saying: Mutu qabla an tamutu - die before you Die: leave this world with your own will before you are faced with the necessity of leaving it at the end of your life."

Asceticism is something to admire. And some ask if I think it's too extreme, sure it may seem like it in this day and age, but it's not impossible and not extreme. Besides: "The Zuhd (ascetic self-restraint or abstemiousness) in this world is not to abstain from the permissible or to waste away your wealth, but that you rely on what is in Allah's hands more than what is in yours, and that you are more desirous of the reward of a calamity if it strikes you than if it did not. " - Dunno. But that just sums up everything! Asceticism is not abandoning this world and the obligations that come with it, but to realize to the full extent that this world is temporary and for worshipping Allah (swt) and that we will someday soon return to our Creator. That's our purpose. But of course, it may seem simple written out, but it's not. We get caught up in the "beauty" of this world and the fitnah that follows and whatnot. That's what makes it hard. I think we all know that...I mean, you don't need me to school you on that. Besides, I can go on forever :P. I'll leave that for some other time.

Maybe one day if I want it enough (I'm pre-occupied at the moment. God help me.) to work towards it and Allah (swt) wills it for me, then I'll be able to reach that level (gosh, that *does* seem impossible; but never be discouraged, with Allah (swt) near, anything's possible). At the moment, I'm doing what I can; it's a struggle! God knows. I know I can do much much more. I'm being awfully lazy, Astaghfirullah :(. For now, it's nice having a goal, one goal that you never lose sight of, one that never gets complete, which just makes it all the more exciting, and makes your heart beat faster and float inside you without strings (arteries?) attached and aaah you know! :) Goal: striving to please Allah (swt) in every way possible and getting closer to Him and obtaining His love...May Allah (swt) grant us the divine taufeeq to do all that pleases Him and to worship Him in the most perfect manner and may He fill our hearts with endless love for Him, Ameen.

Alright, I'll end it on that note... submitting my first blog entry...why does this seem so sentimental? :raises eyebrow:. I need my breakfast haha....:).